Wednesday, October 29, 2008


Totally forgot to blog about this. This is also a very monumental entry. It will have PICTURES!

Right, so on the 4th of this month we opened a second store. I took a good few photos on my phone because I was like "Hey! This store sure will rule! Guy!" etc. Anyway, it's like 4 times the size of the one I was working in above Hughes & Hughes and it's all new and shit.

Picture time.


As you can see, there's no manual / auto buttons for the steaming wand (the bit that makes the milk hot), there's A FUCKING LEVER!!! You pull it down halfway for manual heating, and all the way for auto. Auto means it stops at 70 degrees celsius so it doesn't burn the tongue off you. It's like I'm flying a fucking plane and it rules. There's also a screen on the machine to tell you how hot the milk / wand is, so we don't have to use the thermometers anymore! WAHEY! And beside the screen we've got a + and - button for extra hot drinks, or not so hot drinks! There's also buttons to pour 1, 2, 3, or 4 shots of esspresso. The 1 and 3 don't work yet but it's still class. Also, the steaming wands don't have to be cleaned at night because they're covered in a plastic yoke that stops milk residue scum from building up! They've really thought of it all!

We've also got new coffee bean hoppers. Check it out. It's like a big fucking BOWL! And then there's a small little column in it for decaf, but it's only little because we only sell a little amount of decaf! Brillo!!!! Here we have our decaf buttons and our Halfcaf buttons. Then we have our power, stop, continue, clear, rinse, [something I can't remember], ristretto, and long buttons. We can't use the ristretto or long ones until every Starbucks in Ireland has these machines though! Worst buzz!


So we've got 50s style diner booths and we've also got seats resting against the back of the condiment bar! FUCK!!!

And a shit tonne of couchy ones, too! The floorplan for this is ridiculous, by the way.


Delish. I haven't seen shelves like that since July or some shit. Class.


This lad's probly gonna be my supervisor. Fuck my life.

You're having a LOL and wrecking my buzz.

And here's the most metal picture you've ever seen in your life. Mark Anthony Coleman and Conor Miggan. Mig actually broke through that roof. For real.

I'll post my feelings on the new store soon.


I was in Fibbers for ThreeEuroThrashMetalThursday a couple of days ago. Thursday to be precise. I ran into Rita, who I'd worked with since the very start of my "career" (LOL) in Starbucks, and we had the buzz. I'm usually out with the fibbers flannel fleet every Thursday and work give me Fridays off which rules a good bit. But anyway, Rita called me out on not hanging around with her anymore ever since I moved to the Swords branch(es. I never updated about the new store. I will very soon.) When I first moved, I used to come back and visit Malahide a good bit, just to have the buzz, but I guess I stopped coming when a fair deal of the staff left, so Rita's pretty much on her own out there with the exception of a few originals, but like I can count 6 full timers that have left there to go to other places, and without sounding harsh, she's left with the duds. It must be the worst buzz ever working with cuntomers from a very upper middle class area such as Malahide, and then having to work with staff who suck that much, too. There is a few decent heads still out there, but there's a good few dicks, and then new people do get on your nerves. No matter how hard you try to not let them annoy you, they do. It blows remembering that you were once the very person that's annoying the tits off you, but that's just how it is. Chris' older brother's back out there now, and he rules, but between the two of them out there, I'd say they're having the worst time in the world. I'll def hang out with Rita over these holidays so she doesn't think I'm a total jerk.

At the moment

I'm 2 days into 9 days of paid holidays. I was chancing my arm when I was booking them because I thought they'd have all been called up, seeing as we can't take them after the 15th of November. But nobody had booked any. But fuck them, I guess.

Monday, October 20, 2008

The toilet bitch

I totally forgot about this one, until the last post just there. About a month ago our toilet went bust. I wasn't in when it happened (I was doing a closing shift and it happened during the morning), but I was working during the busy period of the day and bore the brunt of it something more than most others, as I was on till most of the time. Straight away there was an out of order sign put up and maintenance were called, so we did everything by the book. As everybody knows, the general public are the most ridiculously idiotic people on the face of the planet. People going to the toilet, seeing the sign, turning back, queuing up to order a drink, and then going "Sorry, is the toilet out of order?".........
What else can be said? I hadn't discovered the zen powers of just being like "ah yeah" yet, so there was not much I could do but reply with "...Yes." It happened about 5 or 6 times, and by the third time I'd ended up saying "Unfortunately yes, but maintenance have been called and it should be fixed by the end of the day. The nearest toilets in the shopping centre are........." etc. Anyway, some absolute knobber came in and asked me if the toilets were out of order, AFTER SEEING THE OUT OF ORDER SIGN, I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW. I went ahead my little piece I'd put together and pretty much half way though me saying the word maintenance, she says "You know that's illegal, right?". Now, there is some legislation of sorts that makes it manditory for all caf├ęs / restaurants / bars etc to have toilets, and we do. It just wasn't working. I'm sure technically we were breaking some sort of pathetic twig of a law, which makes her a pathetic twig of a person for pointing it out, but like what could I say to that?
"You know that's illegal, right?"
  1. Actually, you're absolutely right! Here's a phone to call the gaurds. Go mad.
  2. Ah sure I'm just about to have my plumbing apprenticeship cert posted out to me in a few minutes. Giz a sec and I'll fix the toilets.
  3. No, it's not out of order, that sign is there just so only people who really need to go can use it!
  4. IS IT?! LENKA! C'MERE LENKA! Here, this woman reckon's the toilet's out of order. What's going on?
Like I seriously think that this woman thought I could actually respond to that. Or that I was at fault, like I had broken the jax. Or that I could fix it. Or that I'd make sure it was fixed faster because it was against the law. I just looked at her, not knowing what to say, slightly agitated at it all, and I reckon she kind of picked up on it seeing as she didn't buy a drink and just went "forget about it". Meh. i didn't even get to tell her where the closet jax in the centre was. I hope she went home and told her husband that she gave some barista on minimum wage shit over a broken toilet, because most dudes realise that pretty much all women are balls to the wall mental and would have stood up for me in an act of solidarity. He probably would have divorced her as well, to be honest. What a cunt.

Also, the other day...

A member off staff left a clump of bloodied tissue in the staff jax and didn't flush. I think it was a makeshift sanitary towel. WHAT THE FUCK. People need to start getting sound about gross stuff. Fuck.

Ah yeah...

Sometimes in life you've just gotta be like "ah yeah".

Imagine your life being a pie chart. A big circly fucker, divided up into... em... divisions. Slices. Ah, slices because it's a pie. Oh. Anyway, my life has one big fucker of a slice in it nowadays, and it's called "ah yeah". It's def over 50% of the pie, but I think it might even be somewhere between 80 -99%. And 1% for everything else. I've found myself saying "ah yeah" LOADS recently, because it had become such a great method of not letting things get to you in Starbucks. But it can also deal with pretty much any situation you find yourself in, I've noticed. When I'm on thil and people say "Hi, can I've a tall latte to go?" - "Ah yeah". When someone asks me something about the food which I don't know about (which happens really rarely because I'm class at my job and I know pretty much everything) - "Ah yeah". But yeah, dealing with shitty customers has become a lot more fun now, what with the AYF (The Ah Yeah Factor). Some slut came up to the till the other day and ordered a medium skinnyccino. I FUCKING HATE WHEN PEOPLE SAY SKINNYCCINO. It's a non fat cappuccino, it's not that hard to say, and you don't sound like a johnnyer when you say it. Unless you ask for a non fat hot chocolate or some shit. But yeah, I was on bar so I made the drink. Said my "Now miss, grande non fat cappuccino, enjoy" bit and she was like "Eh, I asked for a medium skinnyccino..." like I was a fucking moron for getting her drink wrong. For people not following, I made it right, I just called it like it should be called. Like the way it says on the menu. The correct way. So I go "Yeah, grande non fat cappuccino, there you are" and she was like "But I ASKED for a skinnyccino...". Absolutely shocked at this stage, I am. I've said non fat twice to her, and she still doesn't get it. So I just go "Ah yeah" and make the next drink. I noticed that she was looking at me for like a good ten seconds before it all sank in, and then left. Sometimes in life you've just gotta be like "ah yeah".

Wednesday, October 1, 2008


blogging about working in starbucks can really take it out of you!

I'm off to bed.


If there's a date in the title it means that I couldn't think of a title and published this post as soon as I finished it.

So I was working an early shift today. 8 - 4. I have to be out of bed by 6 for me to stand any chance of actually making it into work on time. My brother recently broke his phone so took the one I use for my alarms for his own personal use. I woke up today at 7.15. I literally got out of bed, got dressed, and walked into Raheny village to get a taxi to work. It cost me €2o. I was feeling really shitty all morning. I didn't have time to shower or shave or even brush my teeth and I felt fucking filthy. I'm pretty sure I looked it, too. There was nobody doing a mid shift to cover us for breaks, so I only got my lunch at 1.30pm when the people on close came in. It was the best break ever. I got the last meat free panini and I made myself a savage Raspberry and Blackcurrant frap with passion iced tea instead of zen. Ask for it next time, it's class. Actually, it probably won't be, because 99.999999% of starbucks employees are TERRIBLE at making fraps. So much so that I've actually had someone add me and message me on a site called (I'm not sure if you've heard of it or not), and tell me that I'm savage at making fraps. Actually, hang on and I'mm quote it.
you make a killer caramel frap.
good job!!
So there we have it. Fuck everyone else.
Anyway, I strayed off. This entry was meant to be about what happened after work. I know it kind of fucks with standard protocol or whatever, but I'll do what I want. So after 4 o'clock rolled around, I went for my bus. Usually I get a 102 bus sometimes I'll go a bit mad and just decide to get whichever one comes first. So today I got a 43 with the intention of getting off in Fairview and waiting for either a 31/B, 32/A/B, or a 29A to Raheny. Grand. And it was. I was listening to Nerdlinger (who are the best to ever come out of Ireland ever since the James Joyces'), and was havin' a bash through a book I'm reading called Shantaram. I'm sitting down the back of the bus on the lower saloon (It rules because you can rest your feet on the seat infront of you just like on the Dart). Literally 2 stops later this girl gets on. She's fairly good looking, blonde, and has a pink school bag with her. Don't fucking judge me. Loads of people carry schoolbags. I do. Anyway, a minute or two later I look up to snatch a glance and I see this shine on her face and I'm like "Woah, this girl's got really good skin, and here I am perving on her like some horrible junkie with greasy hair, an unshaved face that's not really stubble but more like a facial knackertash, unbrushed teeth, and bloodshot eyes from a lack of sleep followed by working an eight hour shift. I must have been a right fucking mess. I looked away because I knew that if she caught me looking at her, there'd be no chance of getting away with just giving her the nod. I peeked again. On closer inspection, it was a fucking tear. She didn't have amazingly radiant skin, she was just crying.

But it was really weird crying. It was like tears of ultimate defeat or something. Like something had grinded her down that she didn't even show any real emotions. They were just tears running down her face, and she wasn't responding to them just as much as she wasn't fighting them away. It was like she'd been fucked by whatever it was that was upsetting her enough, that she just couldn't feel anything more. It was really shit having to watch it. It was like each tear that ran down her face symbolised a victory to whatever was making her like this, and it was also like she knew it. She knew it and she just didn't have anything left in her to care about it anymore. It was fucked. Every now and again she'd wipe the tears off her face with the sleeve of her jumper, but it was just because they were becoming physically uncomfortable, not that she didn't want anyone to see. She didn't seem like she is in any state to care what anyone else thought. And then my mind went into a logical overdrive of sorts, where I was trying to find reason in all of this. I didn't know this girl, so how the fuck could I possibly guess what had made her like this? But I was trying to think of something anyway. Nothing I could think of matched up. Bullying, a break up, death, bad stuff at home, etc. There's all certain emotions attached to those that can be read fairly easily once you've either experienced them or have seen someone experiencing them. She just seemed really empty and it sucked to see. She took a key out of her pocket and looked at it, and then put it back in. I wasn't sure if she was looking at the key because it might be that she was going somewhere to make her feel better, or if she was looking at it because she didn't want to be behind the door the key unlocked. Who knows. Who cares? Should I have? Probably not, it was just some girl crying. But I'd never seen anyone cry like that and it fucking made some sort of impact on me. I want to know everything about this person, and I want to know if she's alright about whatever, and I want to know what she was feeling. And normally I wouldn't care about this at all because I'm a self involved prick who just looks out for number one, but it was something I didn't understand. And I need to understand everything, because I'm self involved. I need to know everything. I need to know why she was clutching that pink bag so tight before she got off.