1) This lady who comes in all the time and buys a tea. She asks for a cup of boiling water along with that to make her tea last twice as long. And she asks for a cup of cold water with no ice in it, which I imagine is just for her to drink. But what a bitch, in fairness. Like just buy 2 teas, they're only two bills each so there should really be no problem. Anyway, I'm not sure if I mentioned this before in a previous blog, but she takes books upstairs into the café and spends like 3 hours reading them, only to put it back on the shelf without buying it. What a cheap asshole. We were very much like The Bill about it for ages, but now we've just given up and have resorted to just slagging her off behind her back and having a go at guessing as to why she never wants to be in her house.
2) This girl (not creep territory "girl", like maybe early twenties, without having to put her in the "woman" grouping, because that makes her sound mad old. Ew.) who comes in every now and again who is the most heartbreakingly pretty person in the world. But not in the conventional sense at all. She's super awkward and always fucks up her order or leaves something out of it until I ask her if there's anything else she'd like. I think I saw her in town one night but I was hammered so it might have just been some other girl who looked like her. I wish I wasn't hammered that night, because if it was her, I could have talked to her and made her fall in love with me, because she's more than likely the one. The pain.
3) This man who comes in pretty often who's generally pretty nice and pleasant, but just today I realised how fucking cheeky he actually is. Not in a sort of lovable rogue type of way, more in a "Actually, hang on. The fucking cheek of that..." type of way. He came in earlier and ordered freshly brewed coffee. Heroic stuff in fairness, seeing as it the least demanding drink to make in the wholewideworldeverandeveramen.com/thetruth.html. And that's what he usually gets. Brewed coffee with space for milk. With brewed coffee, you're entitled to a free refill on it. Usually the general etiquette is that we brew on request, and there's an hour of the coffee hanging around and having the laugh before we throw it. Grand. We'll give you a refill if you ask for it withing the hour, otherwise we're just putting on a brew for free, and that's silly. There's been times where he'd come in and the brew was already on, and had about twenty minutes shelf life left on it, and in those cases if he'd come up hal an hour later asking for a refill, we'd slap another one on, no problem. Today, the cheeky fucker got his coffee, drank it, came back up twenty odd minutes later and asked for another one. Fair enough, yeah, grand, no bother, sound. But as I was about to pour it, he asks if he can have the other coffee in the other brewer. The fucking cheek. Not only was there a full brew of the coffee he just had in a container that was ready to pour, but he didn't even pay for this cup he was about to get. Like, the two different drinks are definately sererate entities as far as I'm concerned. It would be like me going into a shop and seeing a sign saying Cadburys are doing a deal of buy one bar, get another free, and then going up the counter with a Starbar and a Milka or something. If you're getting something for free, don't push your fucking luck, son. The cheek.