Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Fashionable rip off t-shirts

can suck the fuck. I sort of made a tit of myself the other day because of one of these. This pretty good looking girl from one of the shops in the centre came in wearing a Minor Threat rip off t-shirt, say Major instead of Minor. Now, these could be pretty popular in Topshop or whatever but I'm pretty oblivious to fashion trends as I spend most of my days either working or thinking up elaborate plans to get girls to think that it would be a good idea to go out with me or whatever. Anyway, and I'd been listening to Minor Threat on the bus out to work that day so I was stoked to see someone with that t-shirt. It was better that it was someone of the opposite sex because I started planning our wedding, and it was even better that she was pretty attractive because then nobody could slag me for marrying a minger on my wedding day. So it was the best buzz ever. And then it did a horrible 180 as soon as I commented on her t-shirt. Not even one of the cool 180s like in the Tony Hawks games where you get a pop shove-it / melon combo and rack up a nice score for doing nothing, more like a 180 on a motorway into a lane of oncoming traffic and then getting rammed and suffering whiplash. That sort of 180. The bad buzz 180. So yeah, I asked her if she was into much hardcore, and she just stared at me. Now I know myself that I wasn't refering to porn, but from an outsiders point of view, some dude who works in coffee shop for a horrible wage, who's got bloodshot eyes from having to get up at 5.30am that morning for work, who's talking to a pretty girl with a really decent chest, and who mentions hardcore... Well like, if I had have seen that and not known it was me, I'd think yer man had a boner behind the counter. So anyway, she just kind of looked at me, puzzled, and said "Sorry?", and it left me scrambling words around my mind, trying to get them out in a somewhat articulate manner. That didn't happen. It was more like "Minor Threat?.. Major... T-shirt... Major Threat t-shirt... Hardcore... Minor... Threat... The band? You haven't heard of them? I just... The t-shirt... hvbhbuogybknymjuoyoheuhghhhhghghubunpiyfg.......", onlt to be met by an confused and awkward look. I guess I was so taken aback that she had a Major Threat t-shirt on, and that she didn't even know who the band were, that I couldn't actually bring myself to make sense, because I couldn't make sense of her situation. Anyway I gathered myself and eventually got "I saw your t-shirt and I thought you would have been into hardcore punk, seeing as Minor Threat were a a hardcore band..." out of me, and she was just like "Ah! No, sorry...", but with a sort of apologetic look in her eyes this time. Like what I had said made sense, and that she felt guilty for wearing the t-shirt and looking like a pozur, or that she realised that if she hadn't worn the tee that I wouldn't have so awkwardly tripped over my thoughts and tongue so much. So I was just like "Ah bad buzz... It would've been cool to meet someone who was into the same sort of music and whatnot in here..." and she nodded agreeingly. She said that she'd check them out anyway, so hopefully she becomes the real deal and then I can tell her that I'm in love with her. But yeah, fuck those t-shirts. Seriously. Anyone I see wearing them is fucking dead. And people who think they're safeby covering them up with hoodies or whatever, you're getting it the worst.

Sunday, September 7, 2008