Friday, April 17, 2009

People with shitty kids

Are generally shitty parents. I feel bad for other people in the shop when there's a shitty family in, because unlike myself and the rest of the people that work here, their chances of encountering shitty families are much lower. Well I hope so anyway. Public places seem to be the ideal dwelling spot for shitty families, and I'm guessing it's because they want to boast about how bad at being a family they are, because I imagine that's what shit people do. Anyway, this family in particular really got on everybodys tits the other day. Mam and Dad, two boys and two girls. Assholes. They came in and completely re-arranged the soft seating are to cater for themselves, which is one of the worst things people can do, purely because it's a pain in the todger to fix after they leave.

The parents came up to the till and just said the word "coffee" one after another. I wasn't going to bother asking what type or size so I just put it in the till as two venti americanos. If you're in anyway familiar with our sizes and coffees, venti is the biggest, and americanos are more expensive than normal filtered coffee. Granted, it's not even that pricey, and the money is going straight to the man and not me, but it was victory #1. The cunts had the cheek to then ask for "some cookies". Not how many cookies, just some. So I gave them some. I charged for three. Victory #2. Seeing as we're always really quiet, most of the time it'd be just two people working per shift. My supervisor was on a break at the time so I was juggling till and bar, and it was grand. Seeing as the dicks hadn't asked for anything but "coffee" in terms of drinks, that's what they got. Coffee. Right up to the top. No space for milk. Sure they didn't ask. So they got their two coffees and three cookies after they'd paid, seeing as i was doing bar and till, and when they got them after paying they looked real pissed off. I smiled and told them to enjoy their coffees. Victory #3.

"There's no space for milk in these..."
"Oh, sorry about that. I'm just used to making black coffees when a coffee is asked for, you should have just said you'd like space for milk. I'll pour some of those out.
"Oh ok, thanks. And could you give me another cookie? We've got four children with us..."
"Oh, really sorry about that, I only saw three kids with the way the couches were re-arranged."
There's nothing wrong with anything I said, as I said it with a smile on my face, but still, victory #4.
Charging them €2.50 for an extra cookie was victory #5. The cookies are fucking huge by the way, it's not as extortionate as you may imagine.

After the kids had finished their cookies, all hell broke loose. Well, considering we're probably the most chilled out store, a bit of kids acting the arsehole is deemed as all hell breaking loose. One fucking dickhead decided he'd go over to the condiment bar and make the biggest straw in the world. Fair enough, it's actually not that big a deal, but when he belongs to a clan of pricks it's the worst thing in the world. I went over and just started cleaning the condiment bar and took the straws and stirring sticks away so he couldn't have any more fun. #6.

The other brother and one of the sisters decided to have a game of chasing around the shop, all well and good until the girl somehow tricked the dude into going flying into a chair, which really pissed him off and he started running mad fast at her, which led to her screaming and running towards the stairs. And she would have fallen down them too if the dad didn't get up and grab her and tell them to stop. But he did it in a really aggressive manner which made pretty much everybody in the shop 100% more awkward than they/we already were. The other kid was just sitting there with her arms crossed and a grumpy face on her, and that even pissed me off.

They went to use the lift and I told them they couldn't unless they had a pram, buggy or wheelchair. #7.

Fuck that family.


Anonymous said...

7 victories over these people. Good man.

Charlie said...

"I could only see three kids the way you have the chairs rearranged"


Fionnuala said...

good job sos good job

Rii said...

Well done!
I think if I'd been in your position I'd have only gotten maybe 3 victories.
7 is extremely impressive!